"Guardians of the Galaxy"

Hey folks,

I will start this off by assuming I'm going to ruffle a few feathers by saying this is not the greatest piece of cinema since "Lord of the Rings". With that said...


Guardians of the Galaxy (PG-13) Action/Sci-Fi
Starring Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, and Bradley Cooper
  

Overview - Now that Asguard has been established in the first two "Thor" movies, poeple can wrap their minds around a full blown galaxy of crazy worlds with weird creatures and humanoid travelers that aren't quite human. In this universe, an unlikely band of misfits and thugs join forces against an enemy that means to destroy the galaxy, one world at a time.

Review - As I stated at the beginning of this blog entry, if I don't come out of the gate with "This movie blew my mind. It's the greatest movie in the history of film making!" my brother in-law will murder me in broad daylight. Which means I will have to carry a side arm and a machette for a while, because I was actually less than impressed with this film. Maybe it's the tiny amateur film maker emerging from my insides.

Now, before all you comic book nerds go flipping out on me, let's take a look at the movie from an entertainment standpoint. After all, that's what this blog is about. In my opening review, I stated that all I look for in a movie is for it to hold my attention and take me out of the real world for a couple hours. Movies like the aforementioned "Lord of the Rings" or "Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol" or "Looper" do just that. They grab your focus and hold it throughout the entire two hours, plus.

"Guardians of the Galaxy" was fun. Don't get me wrong. There were moments when you cheer for the good guy, laugh at a joke, and tense up as they're about to crash or be shot. But that's all it was...moments. I believe they intended the comic reliefs to be Chris Pratt and Bradley Cooper, but what wound up happening was that the comedic spotlight shifted to Dave Boutista with his goofy "I don't quite get normal speak" understanding of how people communicated. I felt like Chris Pratt's jokes were mostly forced, and very "SNL Skit". The funniest thing about this movie was the very common speech among the entire cast. The script didn't feel well-crafted, which was a pleasant relief. There was a scene at the end when Chris Pratt starts dancing and when Ronan (the villain) asks what he's doing he says, "I'm distracting you, duh!". That made me laugh like an idiot. Even when you see scenes like the dramatic group walk-out when you notice Zoe Saldana yawning. That type of weird natural humor finds it's way directly to my brain's funny bone.

There were elements of the movie that, I believe, only make sense to those who were practically bottle fed comic books. For example; who is Thanos? They hint at him rebuilding an alien army to attack the "pathetic earthlings" after the credits of "The Avengers". In this movie we see him sitting in a floating Lazy Boy literally staring off into space. His minion challenges him and he slowly spins around and gives him a dirty look...scary? My grandfather did that to me half the time I asked him a simple question. The movie doesn't explain, on any level, why we should be afraid of this guy. Or, to a greater extent, why his little minion (Ronan) would be so afraid to challenge him. So that alone threw me. Here's a "villain" that is neither scary nor threatening. I'm sure they're setting him up for "The Avengers 2", but if he's the villain, I think 7-pack of super heroes will be just fine.

I was also struggling to understand the character of the tree giant, Groot. I tread softly because almost everyone I know, who has seen it, has told me that they love Groot. In the beginning they identify that he can only say the words "I am groot." Initially I didn't have a problem with this concept. That was until the raccoon comes into play. For some reason "I am groot" translates into any number of phrases that only a raccoon can understand? What gives the raccoon the gift of tree-speak? And speaking of not understanding characters, what's with the face paint Ronan? You are completely blue, but yet you feel the need to smear batter's tar all over your face. Does he remove it before he goes to bed? If so, it's a fashion statement. And not a very good one. Maybe he also wears skinny jeans and shops on Jack Threads. And why does no one else from his race wear face paint?

I seem to be painting this movie in a horrible light. The truth is that I didn't hate the movie. I didn't strongly dislike the movie. I just think it was incredibly over-hyped. I remember when "The Hangover" came out, it was hailed as "the funniest movie of all time!" and it was nowhere near the funniest. You put that thing up against "Dumb and Dumber" or "Get Smart" and it doesn't stand a chance. Same goes for "Guardians of the Galaxy." It's fun, it's sci-fi, its goofy. You put it up against movies like "Star Trek", "Harry Potter", or even some of it's own family ("Thor", "Iron Man", "Captain America"), it pales in comparison. I won't deny it's a fun movie, but it was simply over-hyped. It's not amazing, it's not earth-shattering, and it won't change your life. It's a fun movie to sit down  and watch for a couple hours with your lady on one side and a bucket of popcorn on the other.

Overall I'll give this one a 3.5 out of 5. I would accept it as a gift, but I probably wouldn't buy it. It's a fun movie that anyone will enjoy. It's tame, and silly. If you want a movie to help shut your brain off for a while, this is it.

Suggestions, comments, or hate mail? Email me at entertaindave@gmail.com

"The Equalizer"

Wassup Wassup Wassup?

Hi, and welcome to 1994, when that phrase was last used. Flare jeans are coming back into style, I hear that Windows is designing a Palm Pilot that can make phone calls, and Christopher Reeve isn't dead yet (spoiler alert!)

Obviously I have not been on here as much as I would like. I would like to write more, but I have been very busy working on videos for my church. I have been working very closely with my brother in-law, who is a fantastic film-maker. He is teaching me all the ins-and-outs of angles, contrast, white balance, editing, etc. I have truly been having a blast writing, filming, and editing. It's a level of creativity where the sky is the limit. To see anything I've done so far you can check out my personal YouTube channel (search for Dave Racer), or search YouTube for victoryoflehigh and look for the most recent video announcements.

Ok, enough blabber and self-promotion (says the guy with a blog about his opinion). I took my wife out to the theater a couple weeks back, on a very much needed date night, and we had to choose between "The Equalizer" or "Dracula Untold". Naturally I chose Denzel, and.....

The Equalizer - 2014 (R) Action/Thriller
Starring Denzel Washington, Chloe Grace Moretz, and Marton Csokas
  

Overview - Ms Moretz plays a troubled young lady named Teri, who believes her only avenue in life is to be a "lady of the night". That is until she meets Mr. McCall (Denzel). A stodgy older man who has a routine of having tea in the same diner she frequents. Moretz befriends McCall, but finds herself in serious trouble when she refuses a client and gets "slapped around". Suddenly Mr. McCall's past starts coming to light, as he races against time to save this young lady from a dangerous life.

Review - The best way I can sum this movie up is to echo a joke I made on Facebook. "Just saw The Equalizer. I believe an alternate title could have been Home Alone: Blood Sports". Mr. Washington winds up taking out a legion of bad guys using a pseudo Home Depot warehouse full of tools, just like in Home Alone. Not to say I discount the whole movie on that note alone. I just found it a little coincidental.

There are a handful of actors who will draw a crowd simply because they're in it. Harrison Ford, Ian McKellen, Johnny Depp, just to name a few. Denzel Washington is probably near, or at the top of that list. I will bet you a dollar that you can't name me a single Denzel "clunker". Go ahead, I'll wait...

See? Washington has style, presence, emotion, and more clout than an actor needs to become a star. No matter who or what he's portraying, you believe it. Heck, if he showed up at my door in a bunny costume and said he was Santa, I might just fall for it. He's THAT good. So it will come as no surprise when I say that he does a phenomenal job in this movie. If you have seen his performance in the movie "Man on Fire" than you already have a launch pad for his role in this film. As I stated before, his character reveals he has retired from some other life. Though they don't unveil it until nearly the end of the movie, you get a pretty good idea of what he used to do for a living. "Sometimes you have to do the right thing, simply because you can." - Robert McCall

Now, Chloe Grace Moretz has had an ...... odd career choice pattern thus far. She played a troubled teenager in the 2013 remake of "Carrie", a psychotic killer in "Kick Ass", and a secluded vampire in "Let Me In". So I am unsure of my full opinion of her as an actress. She's nuts, that's for sure. I think that if she starts choosing more artistic and epic roles, we could see a superstar emerge in a very short time. Originally her role was written for an older woman, but she impressed the casting directors so much, they rewrote the script to fit her. So, I guess that says something about her commitment level to her characters.

As far as Marton Csokas is concerned, he is one of the "that guy" actors. The ones you see in a dozen movies, but never know their name. You're watching any movie and you see someone and shout, "oh that guy!". Csokas does a great job as a clean-cut homicidal lunatic, but you're not going to see a 5 star performance out of him.

I was surprised to find out that this movie was based on a 1980's tv show with the same title, starring Edward Woodward. Not to mention it was originally written in 2005 and went through 3 casting changes and a few different directors before it made it's big screen appearance. There is a looming possibility, since it used to be a serial show, that they could try and squeeze out a couple sequels. Though, until the end of the movie, I could not see how they could hope to stretch the movie into more than one. It's in the same vein as The A-Team, starring Liam Neeson and Bradley Cooper, in the fact that it ends up being a movie that could have a series of sequels, but can also operate as a single entity.

The cinematography is well done. you experience every gun shot, every punch, every corkscrew that is shoved up someone's face. "Did he just say a corkscrew up someone's face?" Yes. As ridiculous as it sounds, my biggest beef with this movie is that they went so far overboard on the gore that I could only label as "unneeded". When you watch a guy fight his way through a crowd of thugs and take them out with things in the room, including a corkscrew to the face, just show a stab and cut away, We do not need to sit there and watch the device slowly cut through his chin and tongue. Then cut away and cut back so we can watch our star rip it out of his face and then see him bleed out as he gurgles blood. If there is one major complaint I have with this film, that's it. Back off the blood and guts Fuqua (director) and you cold go from soft 7 stars, on IMDB, to hard 9. Just my opinion.

This is a guy movie if there ever was one. Blood, guts, hookers, blood, fights, revenge, blood, face-to-face threats, and....oh yea. Blood. Based on that criteria, I would give it a 3.5 out of 5. I would buy it, and watch it again. But only the guys.

I like chatting with folks, so feel free to Email me at entertaindave@gmail.com

I, Frankenstein

Hey everyone!

Let's see, I have been gone for a fortnight times a billion! I practically dropped off the planet. Getting very involved in my church, writing plays, shooting videos, etc. Something had to give, and I guess this blog did not make the cut. I apologize, because I know some of you plan your weeks, months, years, and even lifetime's around when my next blog will pop up. I pray none of you have entered into a mass hysteria from which you can not escape. Well, now you can breathe easy again, and free base your way to another great review.

I, Frankenstein (2014) Action/Fantasy/Sci-Fi (PG-13)
Starring Aaron Eckhart, Bill Nighy, and Miranda Otto
   

Overview: Aaron Eckhart plays the beloved creature known as Frankenstein. Created by a mad scientist and then hunted to the edges of the earth, he develops a disdain for the human race. Until one day, when a secret legion of Gargoyles recruit him, due to his super human strength, to fight the demon army that roams the earth.

Review: If you read the overview and still rented the movie, shame on you. The description alone should scare you away from even going near a Redbox location. Don't get me wrong, Aaron Eckhart is one of the better actors Hollywood has seen in this side of the 2000s. He can be suave or hilarious. He can kick butt, and still manage to deliver a heart-felt "I love you." Apparently applying fake scars to your face makes you speak like an idiot, and barf away your career. I'm pretty sure the director (Stuart Beattie) was playing Candy Crush Saga on his iPhone and kept saying "Whatever." when asked a creative question about the movie.

At the beginning of the film we have to sit through a narration by Eckhart, which feels like 45 minutes of a horrendous English-accented version of Christian Bale's gruffed voice in The Dark Knight trilogy. Most of what he says doesn't even make sense, or have any relevance to the story. It's like the director used this movie to allow his 14 year old nephew to prove himself as a screenwriter. I say stay home Junior. Play with your linkin logs and your 5th generation iPad, and leave the screen writing to people who know how to write words.  

The saddest part about this movie is that Stuart Beattie directed "Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl". We'll call that his crown jewel, and "I Frankenstein" will be the disc he uses as a coaster at his mountain home in the Andes. Though toilet paper would be a more appropriate use. 

But let's see if we can't find something worth mentioning in this one. Ok, we've got Eckhart. Despite the awful writing, and pathetic CGI, he does the best he can with what he's given. He delivers his lines, performs his fight scenes, and convinces the audience he IS the monster. However, his acting is akin to the ridiculous love scene in "Star Wars: Episode III" between Anakin Skywalker and Padme'. Natalie Portman is an award winning actress. Even Hayden Christensen isn't too bad. But when you give them lines that should have sooner found their way to the inside of a trash pail, what can you expect besides garbage laced with more garbage?

Now, Bill Nighy is one of those guys who can only play Bill Nighy. He's a typecast that we all adore. Whether it be Davy Jones, Rufus Scrimgeour, or Viktor, he always delivers his lines like only Nighy can do. Similar to how only Christopher Walken can play Christopher Walken. Only Bill Nighy can be Bill Nighy. Needless to say that I did not stop this monstrosity of a movie due to the fact that Nighy makes me smile. 

Miranda Otto has been in nothing and doesn't matter. 

This film, if you want to give it that title, was set to be released in February of 2013, but kept getting pushed back until they finally let it out of it's cage in January of 2014. I guess they figured someone out there cared. Not I, said the fly.

The CGI was bad, the writing was atrocious, the acting was even worse. Without a doubt, the worst movie of 2014. And that's including "Sharknado". I would avoid this movie like a cow would avoid McDonald's. It may just eat your soul with some Fava beans. I give it a whopping 0.5 out of 5 stars. It's the only movie where I contemplated asking redbox for my money back.

Suggestions or comments? entertaindave@gmail.com

"Frozen"

Whas happenin ma peeps?

I feel like an outsider visiting a cult with this movie. It seems everyone in the world saw this in the theater and bought the movie immediately. 14 year old girls everywhere are singing horrible renditions of "Let it Go". You can barely walk into a local gas station without seeing a Princess Anna dress, or Sven stuffed animal. So, here's my take on it...

Frozen (2014) PG (Fantasy/Adventure)
Starring Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, Idina Menzel
  

Overview - Elsa (Menzel) has a strangely particular power. She can control ice and snow, and everything related to ice and snow. Her parents insist she keep it a secret. One day her little sister, Anna (Bell), pushes her too far and Princess Elsa releases her hidden power. Forced into the mountains by an angry mob, Elsa must learn to control her power, or be an outcast forever.

Review - So here is another musical installment from the brilliant minds who brought you masterpieces like "Beauty and the Beast", "The Little Mermaid", and "Enchanted". This is the first musical since "Tangled" in 2010. They wrangled up the power vocals of Idina Menzel, of "Glee" fame, and Kristen Bell. I was happily surprised to find out that Kristen Bell could sing. I loved her in "Heroes" and "Couple's Retreat". I think she is an incredibly underused talent. I really hope Hollywood starts putting her in more movies in the very near future.

Let's cover the cast real quick, and then we'll get onto the meat and potatoes of this janker. Our beloved, soon-to-be-Queen, Elsa is voiced by Idina Menzel. She blew us all away with her vocal performances on the undue hit TV show "Glee". She also showed up in the animated/real-life Disney movie, "Enchanted". She's an amazing vocalist, but I wish she would the creators would have written her more dynamic vocals in this film. The main song she sings, "Let it Go", is cranked to 10 the entire song. There's no dynamic to the song whatsoever. If Eddie Van Halen hit the stage and never stopped doing speed runs on his guitar, as amazing as his talent is, it would get dull after a while. That's how I feel about Menzel's big song.

 Additional voices in this movie don't merit too much attention. Our unsung hero, Kristoff, is voiced by Jonathan Groff. The only thing I know him from is the aforementioned "Glee". He plays a heart-breaking jerk named Jesse. I didn't like him on the show, because he's a cocky little poop face. It's hard for me to shake my dislike of the bloke, but no one can argue he has a great voice. So I am willing to look past that for his contribution to our newest Princess installment. The only other notable voice I caught was that of one of my favorite actors. His name is Alan Tudyk. He played the pilot in the underrated TV show "Firefly". As well as the comical sidekick of John Turturro in "Transformers: Dark of the Moon". He's a fantastic talent, and I am absolutely bummed as junk that he's not in more. I have a similar beef with Giovanni Ribisi, but he's not in this film, so I don't know why you brought him up. You're just trying to derail me. This blog is not about you!!

Let's talk about the content. I will keep the spoilers to a minimum. So here we have a young princess who has lost control of her powers. So her parents decide the best way to help her is to lock her in her bedroom and not do something practical like....oh, I don't know.....maybe teach her how to USE her powers. She also does things like build a castle, create a living snowman, and create sheer fabric clothing. She controls ice! How did she suddenly develop the power to create clothing lines? Then we have the immanent death of her parents (it's given away in the preview). They completely breeze over it like it's a foot note. It's like the writers were so focused on the relationship between the sisters that they completely forgot about mom and dad. They probably yelled "We're good. Thanks everyone." and the intern in the back of the room shot his hand up and said, "Uh....what about the parents?"

In truth, I was initially excited to see this film, but ultimately disappointed by this installment that follows Disney's long track record of beautiful movies. The singing was fun, but not amazing. The voice cast was alright, but I still hold to the fact that "Tangled" was the best vocal cast I've ever seen. The story was good, but too easy. The villain is easily beaten, winter does not really last that long, and they skip through the tragic pain that the girls go through. The only saving grace of the movie is Olaf the snowman. Josh Gad was a great get for this role. His quirky voice and hidden singing ability were a great match and acted as a virtual defibrillator for it.

Overall I'd give this a 3 out of 5. My daughter loves it, so I bought it. Otherwise I would have been content borrowing it from friends and family on occasion. If you enjoy Disney musicals you will be satisfied, but not "wowed".

Suggestions or Comments? Email me at entertaindave@gmail.com and follow me on Twitter @entertaindave