I can't thank you all for actually reading this stuff. To say I like talking about movies is like saying Michael Jordan likes playing basketball, that Shaun White likes snow boarding, or that Kim Kardashian likes attention. I love talking about movies, and most of the time I get the feeling I am just grating on people's nerves. I love the in your face action, the gripping suspense, the side-splitting funny banter. I love transposing myself into a world that is not my own. Maybe one day I can take a leap and help create a masterpiece. It is a dream that may or may not come true. And if it doesn't, I'm truly ok with it because I already have a dream life. I have a gorgeous wife who thinks I am the bees knees (what does that mean?!?!). I also have a little girl who wants me around more than a hypochondriac wants a bottle of Purell. So whether or not this dream comes true, I will be ok because of the blessings Christ has laid on me.
Ok, wipe your tears and let's get started...
I first started taking my daughter to movies when she was around 3. Her first movie was "Beauty and the Beast 3D" The only mistake bigger than this was made in November of 2012 on a national level. God save us. Don't worry, I wont go into rants about politics regardless of my feelings. That's for another blog. I realize that taking my daughter to see a movie in a crowded theater when her attention span rivals that of flies and rocks was silly, but I enjoy it so much I guess I was just curious to see if she would too. Needless to say that she wore the 3D glasses for less time than it took me to say the words, 3D glasses. Plus I think there is a secret kid code that says you must pee a minimum of 7 times in any static situation. So I decided to give it a rest for a while. The next one my wife and I took her to was "The Pirates! Band of Misfits" which was so God awful I started teaching my daughter how to make popcorn stick to people's heads. I had all but given up hope until I saw a poster for "Wreck it Ralph". Taking another chance, I convinced my wife to come with us to check it out....
Wreck It Ralph: (2012) -PG
Starring the vocals of John C. Riley, Jack McBreyer, and Sarah Silverman.
Overview - Ralph is the villain in a video game called "Fix it Felix". He destroys a building, and the user plays as Felix and repairs the building. Ralph gets tired of always being the bad guy and sets out on an adventure into other video games to see if he can actually be a hero. Needless to say, things do not go as planned and havoc ensues.
Review - My wife, daughter, and I sat down and started talking about how much fun this movie would be. Disney has a history of not sucking, so I felt we were going to be safe with this one. After being in the theater for 35 seconds my daughter said she had to pee. *cue regret* I started playing out all the worst case scenarios in my head over and over again. When they got back I was mentally prepared to be annoyed the whole time. To my utter shock, once the movie started, she did not move a muscle. She was locked on Ralph's oversized appearance and the silly, yet well-timed, funny moments in the film. This is actually a bit of a longer cartoon than most of them. 9 out of 10 cartoons ring in somewhere around 90 minutes. This one actually almost hits the 2 hour mark. But the brilliantly colorful settings, and the well crafted CGI creates quite a beautiful experience and makes you forget that your butt has lost feeling. This cartoon is actually very engaging, and hits some very real emotion at times. Jane Lynch (Glee) does her typical awkward banter that makes you scoff and laugh at the same time. John C Riley does a good job sounding like an unintelligent giant. No surprise there. Though I can not nark on him too much because his specific tones and delivery bring a personality to the character that I do not believe many others could provide. A true vulnerability and a real vocal desire to be accepted. Sarah Silverman is, in real life, an over-the-top dirty stand up comic. It shocked me a little that they would put her in a kid movie, but then again, it's Hollywood. The black hole of reason and reality. Silverman's voice is naturally child-like, so it wasn't a stretch for her to make the little girl she voices sound cute as a button! She has some pretty funny lines in this one, and delivers them well. Though I am sure the CGI facial expressions probably helped. The graphics give the movie splendor and the score compliments the scenes well. My daughter would not have known if a nuke went off, she was so entranced. I really liked how the film makers captured the video game worlds. There's a sort of Candyland-esque game that shows off brilliant colors and snarky little girls. There is a sort of tribute to a Halo type game where Jane Lynch guides the user through an army of giant bugs. Then there is "Fix it Felix". Any old video game lovers are going to split an atom giggling at the little graphic nuances. The movement of the people, the sound effects, the simple layout. They even threw Q-Bert into the mix.
Overall I would give it a 4 out of 5. It has a decent run time, so it's not over before you settle into your seat. The story is well crafted, interesting, and funny. Ralph faces real peril, which may scare some kids, but again, my 4 year old thought it was great. Riley and Silverman have good chemistry and keep it light and fun.
Things to watch out for in this film...
1) There are giant bugs that drop in from nowhere and charge the screen. So if your kid doesn't handle startling moments well, then be warned. Also, at one point the villain turns into a huge mutant bug and could be a little scary for younger kids.
2) Ralph experiences being emotionally torn at one point and destroys Silverman's little race car. It's a pretty intense scene, and my daughter still talks about it. It seems to be the only scene that really stands out to her. She kept talking about it all the way home. So be advised that if your son or daughter doesn't handle conflict well, they may not like that part.
3) There are boobs. Uh....that would be a lie. You guys are so gullable. Geez!
Alright. Pressing on....
Rise of the Guardians: (2012) - PG
Starring the vocal talents of Alec Baldwin, Hugh Jackman, and Chris Pine
Overview - Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, The Sandman, and the Tooth Fairy have secretly been keeping the earth safe, like MI-6 tries to do when their organization isn't being infiltrated. One day a mysterious black cloud enters the scene and threatens the very fabric of children's dreams. The foursome need help, so the powers that be appoint a new guardian. Jack Frost joins the team and the group heads off to try and save the world before the Pitch Black takes over.
Review - The director, Peter Ramsey, has done movies like Independence Day, Fight Club, Men in Black, and Minority Report. If there is one thing he knows how to create, it is a sense of defeat for the good guys. He is a specialist in delivering intense moments where you might just get beaten. Where the hero might just lose. So it is expected that this film would be no different. The darkness, known as Pitch, seeks to destroy children's belief in our Imaginative Boy Band. Though there is a chance that N'Sync may have dressed up like this for a 12 year old's birthday party on occasion. To say the graphics were well crafted is a little redundant because with today's technology, you would have to be less-minded than a politician who thinks you can borrow your way out of debt. Hugh Jackman voices the adventurous and tenacious Easter Bunny. Jackman does not know how NOT to be charming. The only thing I take refuge in is that Hollywood finally found a way to make a movie with Hugh and keep his shirt ON. Chris Pine plays our intrepid new addition, Jack Frost. After helming the star-ship Enterprise in the 2009 reboot of the Star Trek series, he picked up quite a bit of steam in his career. He does a great job showing what a hero, who doesn't know he's a hero, would go through in his personal struggles. Alec Baldwin plays Santa. Wait....Alec Baldwin is playing an overweight, and goofy head of an organization? Haven't seen that before. *cue eye roll* But he does as good a job as one might expect.The plot is dark. There is a lot of intense action sequences. Most are thrilling, but some do end in perilous situations which might turn on the scare-o-meter for kids. I did like how they portrayed how kids would band together when they're creativity and dreams are being threatened. Nowadays when our world says you have to stop dreaming and work for the Geek Squad, it is refreshing to see someone show that all kids want to do is dream and have fun. Let kids be kids, I declare. I think kids will really enjoy a look into what they dream about when they think of the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy. If you are the kind of person who wants your kids to believe in this fiction, then I say let them see this. It will ignite their imagination.
Overall I give this one a 2 1/2 out of 5 because it is a little intense, and I don't think overexposing your kids to this one repeatedly is a great call. If your kid is like mine, and enjoys playing dress-up almost as much as she enjoys playing kick daddy in the spleen, then you'll be fine.
Things to be aware of in this film...
1) There is a lot of peril. Characters die, and Pitch wins some battles. It's not stereotypical where the hero wins every encounter.
2) Jack Frost despairs a lot. Though he comes around in the end, it was almost depressing how long it took him to get his act together.
You still with me out there? Stand up, shake your tail feathers, and let's tackle one more...
Dr. Suess's The Lorax: (2012) - PG
Starring Zac Efron, Ed Helms, and Danny Devito
Overview - Ted is a teenager who has never seen a real tree. He has heard rumor that The Once-Ler knows the secret to why all the trees are gone. He sets out on an adventure to find out where the trees went. He finds The Once-Ler (I'm tired of typing Once-Ler. I'm not going to do it any more, and you can't make me) and gets him to regale the teen with his story of meeting the Lorax and what actually happened to the forest of trees.
Overview - Ted is a teenager who has never seen a real tree. He has heard rumor that The Once-Ler knows the secret to why all the trees are gone. He sets out on an adventure to find out where the trees went. He finds The Once-Ler (I'm tired of typing Once-Ler. I'm not going to do it any more, and you can't make me) and gets him to regale the teen with his story of meeting the Lorax and what actually happened to the forest of trees.
Review - Honestly, after Dr. Suess bombed harder than "Gigli" with the horribly crafted "Cat in the Hat" and "Horton Hears a Who" I had all but lost faith in Dr. Suess ( I don't believe he is a real doctor. Can he repair a fractured hip?!? I didn't think so). And TECHNICALLY it's not his fault. His books are fine, it's just dope-smokin directors like Bo Welch, Jimmy Hayward, and Steve Martino that really steered these films into an iceberg. The Lorax, however, reinstated my faith in the creative Dr. Suess. The story is interesting and engaging. Dr. Suess prides his books on being creative and silly. This movie does just that. There are many moments that make you say "Oh, that's a funny way to portray that" and "Aw, that's cute". Ed Helms does a good job bringing his genuine awkwardness to the character of The Onc....nope....not gonna write it again. He brings it to the character of...you know who. The colors in the movie pop like a bag of Reddenbacher's best. High Definition DOES make a difference in this one. It would be shame to shove those color tones in shaudy standard definition. It is currently running on Netflix Instant, which compresses the movies a bit, but it does not effect the outcome that much. The adventure is fun, the peril is not too threatening, and the characters are lovable. Did I just say Danny Devito was loveable? Feel free to tie a concrete block to my ankles and drop me in the deep end of a kiddie pool. I don't want you to kill me. That's murder, and I love you too much to see you go to jail. Devito does a good job being a goofy little fat orange guy. Could anyone else have done this? Sure. But he did, so....there ya go. Zac Efron gives a forgettable performance as a teenager who looks like a 10 year old. Sadly, someone also felt Taylor Swift wasn't popular enough, and let her voice a character too. Though I'll bet you couldn't pull which character for $100. After all that I'm sure you are wondering why I said it restored my faith in Dr. Suess, right? It is a creative and fun telling of a children's book. I really like how they portray how the pursuit of money at the cost of friendships will end in ruin. In our current society, we are sending the exact opposite message, and it needs to change. It has a villain that would barely scare a Chihuaua, but it's a light-hearted flick. What are ya gonna do? It's predictable, but heart-warming ending, will make you smile though.
Overall I would give it a 3 out of 5 because my daughter can watch it repeatedly and it doesn't make me wonder how much weight the curtain rods could hold if I used the curtains as a noose. :-) Oh, don't get bent out of shape, I'm just a hyperbolest.
There is nothing to watch out for in this film. It's fun.
As always, I relish feedback and ideas. So feel free to email me at entertaindave@gmail.com and follow me on Twitter @entertaindave
No comments:
Post a Comment